Parenting--the Pleasures and the Pain

“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the great and awesome day of the Lord comes. 6 And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction.”  (Malachi 4:6)

[last verse in Old Testament.]

13 But the angel said to him, “Do not be afraid, Zechariah, for your prayer has been heard, and your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you shall call his name John. 14 And you will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth, 15 for he will be great before the Lord. And he must not drink wine or strong drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit, even from his mother's womb. 16 And he will turn many of the children of Israel to the Lord their God, 17 and he will go before him in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just, to make ready for the Lord a people prepared.” Luke 

And his father and his mother marveled at what was said about him. 34 And Simeon blessed them and said to Mary his mother, “Behold, this child is appointed for the fall and rising of many in Israel, and for a sign that is opposed 35 (and a sword will pierce through your own soul also), so that thoughts from many hearts may be revealed.”

Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. (Colossians 3:21)

By Reverend Mark Hunnemann

I have three children and three grandchildren, and they are the joy my heart. I'm sure many of you can relate. It is often said that there is not a handbook on parenting but that is not true; the bible has many insights into parenting. In fact, the book of Proverbs begins as a"handbook" from father (Solomon) to his children.

My greatest pleasures, as well as my greatest pain, has stemmed from parenting. Let me quickly add that the pain part was not necessarily due to my children's faults, but to my faults as a dad. Out of respect for  my kids I will not mention personal details.

How do we know how to raise our children? How do we teach them how to love and respect others?

What does it mean to display mature masculinity or femininity? How do we teach them the difference between right and wrong? And what do we tell them is the most important thing in life? How do we attain eternal life? Without the bible we are left to wing it or do what our own parents taught us...but were they right?

Mary, the mother of Jesus, was told that a "sword would pierce her soul." A sword through the heart is an apt description of what parental pain feels like at times.Was Jesus ever spanked? I'm sure He was, not  because of anything He did (He was sinless), but because Mary and Joseph were not perfect parents--all parents overreact at times, in some way...

It is instructive that the last comment in the Old Testament has to do with parents turning their hearts toward their children, and vice versa. There are thousands of images that the Lord could have chosen to symbolize the in breaking of the New Covenant, but the Lord chose the image of a parent turning their naturally selfish heart toward loving deeply their children. This shows how the gospel has a deeply invasive affect on the most basic of institutions, the family. Malachi is the last book in the Hebrew Old Testament and the last verse in the last chapter speaks to this matter of parents turning their hearts toward their kids. 400 years go by and when the New Testament opens, it is as if the Lord was still 'on the same page'....He does not skip a beat, but continues with the same imagery. He tells us that John the Baptist and Jesus will fulfill the prophecy of turning the hearts of the parents to their kids. He  did not skip  a beat over 400 years--obviously this is crucial to God.The point is this--we are all selfish and we need to daily ask God to turn our hearts to our children, and their hearts toward us.We need to ask the Lord for wisdom in knowing how to shepherd our children's hearts.

Parents, please take yourself and your children to church; a loving church that preaches the bible. Some of us have older children so all we can do is pray and gently suggest that we all need help with parenting, and a good children's ministry is invaluable. If you have younger children one of the most important things you can do as a parent is regular attendance at church. My family is not the only one that has had a painful experience with a church, but that is no reason to throw out the baby with the bath water.

Loving God is the single most important thing we can teach our children. But where do we learn how to love God? Reading the bible, and again, attending a good church with a solid children's ministry. Let  me say this--cultivating your own personal relationship with God (through bible reading and prayer) is the most loving thing you can do for your child/ren. The Lord loves our children infinitely more than we do, and He created parenting/family. He longs for us to seek the wisdom we need for this unspeakably wonderful adventure.

Please, from the bottom of my heart, look to the Lord to help you with both the pleasures and the pain of parenting.

"Seeing Ghosts through God's Eyes" (also in a Kindle edition)...please consider purchasing my book which uses science, logic, and the bible to analyze the true source of power behind paranormal activity.

Spare The Rod Spoil The Child And Risk Raising A Killer?

Hello my para beauties. I've had 12 requests to discuss what the Bible says regarding the title of this article/blog. They feel that many people have and are raising children to feel the world revolves around them and what they want when they want. And can they really create a poltergeist when in chaos or anger. From what I know it's possible. And even grow up to be criminals. Way too many people are having kids at such a young age and are unable to care for them properly. And many have no patience it requires nor willing to give up their life in order to raise the child. They realize everything revolves around this dear child and they often neglect and sometimes kill their own children. They didn't ask to be born in interrupt anyone's life.

It appears that we are seeing on the news many stories of minors killing each people, either, their siblings, their parents etc...more and more teens are having children and are not properly raising them. They are told no but never been made to accept it. It's doing a disservice to the innocent children by not setting reasonable boundaries and rules. And follow thru with punishments they are told is the consequence of not following rules. Even the bible tells us this.

What Does The Gospel Say About This? Here are a few examples...

Colossians 3:20

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

Deuteronomy 21:18-21

“If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

Colossians 3:20-24 ESV Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. (21) Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. (22) Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, (24) knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.

Leviticus 20:9

For anyone who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death; he has cursed his father or his mother; his blood is upon him.

Proverbs 30:17

The eye that mocks a father and scorns to obey a mother will be picked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by the vultures.

Proverbs 13:24

Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.

In my humble opinion "Spare the rod, spoil the child," or, in more complete English, "If you spare the rod you will spoil the child." The general meaning is that parents who don't discipline their children are going to create spoiled children. Some feel they should take a more literal approach, and say that parents must physically discipline their children, because "the rod" here means "to beat your child with a stick." There is much debate about whether it is okay or good for parents to spank, slap, or otherwise discipline children through minor physical pain such as a pop on the rear end for disrespecting adults. That's just one example.

A friend of mine was talking about this very subject at bible study. "I was not spanked as a child. When I became a teenager I became very rebellious. I had no fear of consequence, no respect for my parents, or any authority. It is by the grace of God that I am not dead or jail. I am saddened that this is not the outcome for many who have never been taught as a child that life has consequences." More and more children receive no consequences for ill behavior much less ever have been made to accept the word "No".

Of course this subject could go on and on. I wanted to try my best at discussing this at both point of views. I think you have to do what you feel is best for your situation. There is a huge difference in dicipline and beating a child. But when there is never any consequences your taking a big chance and creating undue stress and a disservice to the child. They only know right from wrong from what the parents teach them.

 Written By Jennifer L Auld

HOW TO EQUIP OUR CHILDREN TO HANDLE THE LANDMINES OF EDUCATION

By Mark Hunnemann

As a parent or grandparent how can we help our children to thrive in secular schools, and not stumble over the many arguments that are antithetical to Christ? (2 Corinthians 10:4-6) Put another way, how can we teach them to be in the world but not of the world?

Yesterday I was watching an "Animal Planet" special on Africa. One of the most fascinating animals to me is the Honey Badger. It is not that big but I was astounded by the way it attacked a King Cobra. The cobra "ran" when it saw the Honey Badger by climbing a tree. Undaunted, the badger scampered up the tree and jumped from limb to limb until the cobra fell to the ground. Unlike Riki Tiki Tavi, this crazy Honey Badger ran straight to the cobra and its celebrated fangs. This unassuming badger ran right up to it and did swift business with it, and ate it. The commentator stated (and this is key) is that it had been stung and bitten so many times by bees and cobras that it had become immune to the stings and bites of both. Incredible....

There are two extremes to avoid as a parent. Some think, I'll quarantine my children. Homeschoolers are especially tempted to this extreme, but if the virus is still out there in the world, and if they are not given some exposure to the world, then they will not have built up any resistance.When I was in college, I saw so many professing Christians take Old Testament or New Testament classes in order to learn. However, many lost their faith in a semester or two because they had not been exposed to the arguments that are out there. It was horrible to watch. So, quarantining is a bad idea.

The other extreme is overexposure where the kids are cast as sheep among wolves, and hope it will toughen them up. This is what happens by default when we have no strategy against Satan's schemes.

So, what is the golden mean? As Jay Richards says--inoculation: measured exposure to a pathogen.We can be inoculated against smallpox by getting an injection of of cowpox, to which our bodies react by developing antibodies which protect us from more harmful pathogens. Or like the Honey Badger who builds up immunity. We need think about ideas like Darwinism in the same way. We do not want to wait until high school or college before our children hear the best arguments for/against Darwinism. Mom and dad need to discuss these things before then, and be able and willing to have the compassion to give honest intellectual answers to honest intellectual questions.

Richards says, kids should learn to ask their professors, "What would be the best argument I could go read against what you have just told me?" (lol, can you imagine the prof's reaction?!) They rarely know the answer to that question, but that is what intellectual honesty requires. Imagine a jury that only heard the prosecution but not the defense. What I found in higher education were professors who knew all the liberal nonsense, but did not even know the names of hundreds of scholars who could defend the biblical view. However, at Covenant Seminary in St. Louis (and other conservative seminaries), my professors knew the best liberal arguments, and were on the cutting edge of showing their intellectual bankruptcy, and the reasons for why the bible is the inerrant Word of God.

Last week we talked about how oppression is an unassuming, but very common, tactic of Satan. It is not as sensational as possession, but is very ruinous. Likewise, in the arena of ideas, Satan is tearing to shreds millions of Christians who have not been equipped. The best way to equip our children to handle the landmines of education is by measured exposure to the world.Then, like the Honey Badger, they will be equipped to seek and destroy arguments and bring every thought captive to Christ.  

Mark Hunnemann is the author of Seeing Ghosts Through God's Eyes: A Worldview Analysis of Earthbound Spirits. It's also available in eBook format.

Spare The Rod Spoil The Child And Risk Raising A Killer?

Hello my para beauties. I hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas/ Holiday season. The new year will be here in 2 days, my gosh where did the time go? It's just mind boggling to think. Celebration of our Lord Jesus Christ tends to be out shadowed as it seems the main objection is what gift to buy for the people we love. Children handing over lists of toys or electronics they expect to receive and many folks are already very limited on funds and struggling in this awful economy will go broke and say"Well Christmas is about giving." Not completely. Nor is it about receiving gifts. It's about the Birth of Christ if you are of the believing faith. Of course this does not all apply to everyone.

I've had 12 requests to discuss what the Bible says regarding the title of this article/blog. They feel that many people have and are raising children to feel the world revolves around them and what they want when they want. And can they really create a poltergeist when in chaos or anger. From what I know it's possible. And even grow up to be criminals. Way too many people are having kids at such a young age and are unable to care for them properly. And many have no patience it requires nor willing to give up their life in order to raise the child. They realize everything revolves around this dear child and they often neglect and sometimes kill their own children. They didn't ask to be born in interrupt anyone's life.

It appears that we are seeing on the news many stories of minors killing each people, either, their siblings, their parents etc...more and more teens are having children and are not properly raising them. They are told no but never been made to accept it. It's doing a disservice to the innocent children by not setting reasonable boundaries and rules. And follow thru with punishments they are told is the consequence of not following rules. Even the bible tells us this.

What Does The Gospel Say About This? Here are a few examples...

Colossians 3:20

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

Deuteronomy 21:18-21

“If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

Colossians 3:20-24 ESV Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. (21) Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. (22) Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, (24) knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.

Leviticus 20:9

For anyone who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death; he has cursed his father or his mother; his blood is upon him.

Proverbs 30:17

The eye that mocks a father and scorns to obey a mother will be picked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by the vultures.

Proverbs 13:24

Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.

In my humble opinion "Spare the rod, spoil the child," or, in more complete English, "If you spare the rod you will spoil the child." The general meaning is that parents who don't discipline their children are going to create spoiled children. Some feel they should take a more literal approach, and say that parents must physically discipline their children, because "the rod" here means "to beat your child with a stick." There is much debate about whether it is okay or good for parents to spank, slap, or otherwise discipline children through minor physical pain such as a pop on the rear end for disrespecting adults. That's just one example.

A friend of mine was talking about this very subject at bible study. "I was not spanked as a child. When I became a teenager I became very rebellious. I had no fear of consequence, no respect for my parents, or any authority. It is by the grace of God that I am not dead or jail. I am saddened that this is not the outcome for many who have never been taught as a child that life has consequences." More and more children receive no consequences for ill behavior much less ever have been made to accept the word "No".

Of course this subject could go on and on. I wanted to try my best at discussing this at both point of views. I think you have to do what you feel is best for your situation. There is a huge difference in dicipline and beating a child. But when there is never any consequences your taking a big chance and creating undue stress and a disservice to the child. They only know right from wrong from what the parents teach them.

 Written By Jennifer L Auld