Monday, January 30, 2012

Ten Reasons Why I Dislike Movies Like 'Paranormal Activity'

By Kelly Fisher
These are in no particular order and may contain spoilers. These are only my personal opinions.

1. There is no gore!
I was raised on 80’s slasher flicks, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, etc. I understand that these movies are supposed to be more of a psychological type thriller but unfortunately they do nothing for me. Unless boring me to tears is their ultimate goal then they succeed. Give me a campy horror movie over this nonsense any day. 
2. They are so quiet.
I know they do this because they want to get in the cheap scare when something goes boom in the night. It really annoys me to see these people wandering around their house in complete silence. Do you not own a television? 
3. It’s always a demon!
Why does it always have to be a demon? It’s never like the creepy guy you pissed off in high school by during him down for a date and then he committed suicide haunting someone. No let’s not try that scenario as it would actually make more sense. Let’s just have some random demon follow this girl for some reason we may or may not explain depending on how long we can milk this thing out with sequels. 
4. The demon always has to possess someone.
They always end these movies with one person getting possessed by said evil demon and then then proceed to go around and kill everyone. My problem with this is the demon always seems to enter the person it has been tormenting the whole movie, shouldn’t the demon enter someone else so it can kill the person it seems to love to haunt? 
5. I hate the camera angles.
I understand it’s supposed to be real videos but I get enough of that from all the reality TV shows that seem to be the only TV shows on TV. I don’t want to watch a reality TV movie. 
6. The terrible acting.
If you want to make me believe that this is real could you please hire some actors that can well, you know, act? Thanks. 
7. The use of children and dogs for the creep factor.
Yep, I’m onto you guys. We all know most people love dogs and babies. So of course if they think something bad is going to happen to the dog or child it’s going to scare them. Please try harder. 
8 .Nothing happens until the last 15 minutes of the movie.
You wait and wait and wait some more. A few doors slam, a few plates break, someone gets locked outside while the baby is left alone inside. Honestly though nothing really happens until the last 15 minutes of the movie. It kind of makes me a bit unsatisfied. 
9. They are unrealistic.
I have lived with ghosts for years (one of them not so nice) and nothing like what happens in these movies has ever happened. Movies like these upset me because they make people fear ghosts, in doing that people can miss out from contact with their loved ones who have passed. If your loved ones attempt to contact you and you get scared they probably aren’t going to contact you again. They love you they don’t want to scare you, most of the time they simply want to let you know they’re ok.
10. They’re just so boring!
No further explanation needed.